Memo from Tadpole

Dear Daddy,

As you are aware, for the past couple of days I have been standing by myself (while holding on tightly to things for stability), and sometimes have leaned and taken a few steps.  This is very exciting for me, so I know declare myself an Independent Explor-A-Baby.  In my new status, there will be some changes:

First, I do not like sitting, since I can't stand by myself from a sit yet.  So you will carry me or help me stand.  I will indicate if you are doing the wrong thing by fussing.

Second, the toys I have been playing with are suitable for small babies but not Independent Explor-A-Babies.  So we will need to find new toys to play with.  This may include things previously off limits such as your glasses.

Third, Independent Explor-A-Babies do not eat or sleep.  We are much too interested in the world.  Please disregard all previous routines and do not attempt to calm me or give me a bottle.  This will be rejected.

Finally, I reserve the right at any time to stop being an Independent Explor-A-Baby.  I suggest you pay close attention for this moment, as I will likely be very hungry and sleepy.  In fact, if you time this right, I will fall immediately asleep without fussing and you can breathe a big sigh of relief.  Don't get comfortable ;)

Love,

Tadpole

Stay-at-home-dad Review: Swim Lessons

So Tadpole and I went swimming today.  (sorry, no pictures even though she looks really happy in her new swimsuit.  Cameras not allowed on deck and I figured the other guys in the locker room wouldn't appreciate me pulling out a camera).  We got to the pool a little late - I still haven't really processed just how long it takes to get out the door with Tadpole, especially as the weather starts to turn, but still got about 20-25 minutes of our 30-minute class, plus a few extra minutes of splashing around afterwards.

The short version is that Tadpole loved it!  The instructor provided a contraption that is combination wetsuit and personal flotation device (probably wouldn't support Tadpole all by herself, but definitely makes her a bit more buoyant) - we didn't have fancy things like that when I was teaching!  (Of course, I learned to swim and did most of my instructing in pools that were oriented towards children and therefore pretty much as warm as pools get.  The West Loop Athletics Center pool is definitely not competitive, but it's a bit chillier than I was used to.

We did a few songs and practiced different activities and holds - bubble blowing, feet kicking, reaching and grabbing (Tadpole is good at reaching for a toy & then nomming it!), and floating on the back.  There were a few moments early on where Tadpole was a bit uncertain, but having daddy right there to hold her made everything OK, and she was generally great in the water.  My favorite part was floating on her back.  The former instructor part of me remembers that this is really the first skill that kids can pick up to be independent (try it sometime - trust me, it's easier to move around floating on your back with gentle kicks than anything else), so I'd love for Tadpole to actually be able to float on her back unassisted.  She's not there yet, but the aforementioned wetsuit/PFD means that she might well be able to by the end of the sessions.

Anyway - extremely good times and highly recommended.  There were 4 or 5 kids there along with two instructors.  One other dad was their with his wife and child, otherwise the other parents were all moms, but that's too be expected.  Next week we get a few extra minutes in the water as long as I can get Tadpole there early enough!

Logistics: The pool in only about a 15 minute drive away ... so total commute time of about an hour and half when you factor in getting Tadpole ready, getting out the door, finagling the carseat, etc.  Still, a pretty easy trip.  at 11:30, we should usually have about 30-40 minutes to get to class after a good nap.  So it's close (since I really need to feed / change Tadpole as well), but doable.

Feeding / Changing the baby: The locker room works just fine for changing the baby.  Just pull up the swim diaper and then tear apart the sides when done.  Obviously no feeding, but the timeslot just after her first nap and before lunch is perfect for Tadpole.

Activities: There's really only one - swimming.  But that's a pretty good one.  Bubble blowing, kicking, front and back floats, going up and down in the water, playing with toys ... the possibilities in a pool are endless! (Or at least, you'll run out of warm baby before you run out of things to do).

Bottom Line: Sooo excited!  I really loved teaching swim lessons when I was younger, and getting back in the pool with my daughter is a pretty amazing experience.

Most important fact: Temperature matters.  We're luck to have a relatively warm pool, plus the warming suit.  They also lay out warmed towels afterwards - wrap the baby in a war towel, rinse yourself & baby in a warm shower, then go get a new towel & go change.  Keep an eye out for cold babies, especially if you're bouncing in and out of the water a lot.  Oh, and don't let go!

Off to NaNo ... hopefully Tadpole will cooperate & take a nice long nap.

Insecurities

Tadpole has hit her requisite hour in the crib and just went back to sleep after some fussing.  I've either got plenty of time to write this post (in fact, would have time to be productive on NaNo, which I should be doing), or I'll be getting up in less than 2 minutes when she reawakens.  Honestly, you won't know the difference, since you'll get this post sooner or later anyway.

Tadpole and I start swim class tomorrow.  I'm extremely excited, since it's been a long time since I was in a pool, but swimming used to be a big part of my life (swam competitively in high school, lifeguarded & taught swim classes in high school & college, though mostly 4-9 year olds.  I watched/assisted some infant swim classes, but never taught).

Despite (because of?) how excited I am about the classes, I'm actually pretty nervous.  This is my first outing with just Tadpole and other children when I don't already know the parents/children (other than a somewhat disastrous meeting at a recent pumpkin patch where I stood and watched R mingle with other parents).  So far, this insecurity has primarily manifested itself in email questions - I'm still not sure if these were justified or not.

I dutifully picked up some swim diapers recently, but there aren't swimsuits available in October/November, so I figured Tadpole could just wear her diaper.  I'm actually proud that I checked ahead of time, since it turns out she does need to have a suit, triggering a frantic scramble (thanks for the loaner C!).  We did eventually get an email with this notification - less than 1 day before the class starts, but almost a week after we were informed of the parking arrangements.  Slightly annoyed, but I only made a nuisance of myself by emailing to ask a couple days early.  Not that bad, right?

Then today we finally did get the email with the final arrangements, including information that we would (not could, would) leave our personal belongings in a locker in the ladies changing room.  Um.  Hrm.  That doesn't really work for a dad.  Tadpole isn't quite capable of opening the locker after she crawls in to get our stuff, and honestly, I'm not sure she'd remember which locker was which.  So I sent off another email ... turns out the men's room is also open, so I can leave my stuff there.  (The original email was chock full of restrictions about where we could park, how long we could be in the changing rooms, and what facilities we weren't allowed to use - I don't think it was entirely unreasonable for me to worry that they might not have planned to open the men's changing room, but maybe so?)

Anyway - swim class starts tomorrow!  We have a swimsuit for Tadpole and a place to leave our personal belongings!  woo hoo!?  Hopefully all complications are over other than actually meeting other parents, Tadpole wanting to drink the water, a longer car ride than I've ever done with Tadpole by myself before ... so excited ...

But hey - maybe the hardest part will be the emails.
(No complications on the blog post - Tadpole's going long for nap two.  Way to go baby girl!)

All about me

OK, not all about me, but somewhat about me, since I do have a life and interests outside of Tadpole. So two brief notes about things other than being dad/parenting that are going on right now.

First, on Sunday I attended an evening with Joan Baez at the CSO, which was simply phenomenal. I'm a bit young to really be in her demographic (I'm under 30 and as the person next to me observed may have been the only person in the audience without white hair), but I grew up listening to Joan Baez recordings. Of the performers from my childhood, she's the one I most wanted to see, and the evening did not disappoint.

Ms. Baez has a repertoire of 50 years of songs and all of them were on display on Sunday, from recordings that I first heard on the album "Very Early Joan" to a new song she is still working on inspired by the OWS movement. The entire evening was full of comfortable songs from my childhood mixed with music new to me; activist songs intermingled with folk ballads. I'll highlight three moments in particular - introducing Joe Hill, Ms. Baez commented that it was "an organizing song - but with a leader!" Later, she sang an arrangement of "Swing Low, Sweet Chariot" that reintroduced me to a song that I have long considered a familiar standard. Finally, after a standing ovation, she came back out to sing "The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down", "Imagine" and "Gracias A La Vida", inviting the audience to join on the chorus. Singing these songs with Ms. Baez and a full house at Symphony Center was an incredible experience. I'm delighted that R (not a Joan Baez fan) agreed to watch Tadpole and let me go.

Also, today marks the beginning of National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo), a challenge to write a new 50,000 word novel in the 30 days of November. Last year I managed to complete it, so I'm hoping Tadpole's nap schedule lets me write my great science fiction novel (with space jellyfish!) this year.

In fact, I think I'll go work on NaNo now - bye!

Stay-at-home-dad Review: Shedd Aquarium

Tadpole and I walked over to the Shedd Aquarium and got a membership today. This was her first trip, and my second, but we got a membership so we'll be back at least a few more times.

I want to like the Shedd.  I really do.  There are jellyfish, meaning that I can actually do research for my NaNoWriMo novel when I take Tadpole.  (because while I know not-nearly-enough about this book-to-be, it WILL have space jellyfish!)  Plus, there are a lot of other really cool aquatic creatures (heceforth referred to as fish).

Tadpole likes the Shedd, which is a plus.  She likes looking around at all of the people a lot.  When we're close to the glass & she notices the fish swimming, she likes them too.  I have a feeling that if we go, we're going to spend a lot of time in front of the aquarium at the entrance, which is full of fish, including at least one shark & a turtle.  I'm guessing she'll also be entranced by the otters going back and forth, back and forth.  She wasn't a huge fan of the couple of smaller fish displays, but there are enough big displays (and people!) to keep her occupied, which is good.  Meanwhile I can watch her smile & not worry so much about the animals penned up in a relatively small space endlessly testing the barriers of their confinement.  (The first of two reasons I have trouble with the Shedd).

So, Review:

Logistics (the second of two reasons I have trouble with the Shedd): For us, the Shedd is about a 20 minute walk.  For others, the #146 bus, which can be accessed from at least the Red, Orange, Green, and Blue line trains is the public transit option.  Parking is close by, and it's right on LSD, so there's a beautiful bik path available.  Once you get to the Shedd, you will stand in line.  The first time R and I went, we went through general admission on a summer weekend and probably spent over an hour in line.  Today, it looked more like about 20 minutes or so, but was difficult to judge, since I got to jump the line by getting a membership!  Our wait was about 10 minutes, and even once I get the member card, we'll still have to get in line to pick up a bracelet, so you will stand in line.

Feeding/Changing the baby: There's a pretty depressing lunchroom that I visited today.  I'm pretty sure this was the wrong decision, and should really only be used by families with exhausted children who need some privacy or school groups.  In fact, it's probably only for school groups.  There are lots of overpriced vending machines, but no way to acquire actual food.  My memory is that R and I had lunch at a cafeteria farther in the Shedd the last time we were there -probably what I should have done with Tadpole.  Also didn't change her, since our round trip was only about 90 minutes & she didn't seem uncomfortable.  I have to imagine that there are changing tables readily available in family-friendly bathrooms.  Note to self - now that I'm a stay at home dad, those maps that places hand out are a lot more relevant for exactly this reason.  Check that in the future!  (So basically, I failed at these, I'll have to revisit the Shedd to properly review them for next time)

Activities: There are people.  And interesting fish.  Tadpole cares about the people more, at least for now. There are movies & lots of other activities as well - if you can't stay entertained at the Shedd with children, you're probably doing it wrong.

Bottom line: I need to work out how to handle an hour of commute time when Tadpole's space between naps is 2 hours, and there's about 20-30 minutes of transition time in there as well.  We spent about 10 minutes in the Shedd this time - must do better next time.

Most important fact: DO NOT place the wristbands on you incorrectly such that the adhesive will touch your skin.  It hurts to remove & takes your arm hair with it.

Gotta run - Tadpole just woke up!

Tadpole goes exploring

It's been a big couple of days for Tadpole.  She's working on exploring her world in new ways, socially and physically.

On the social front, Tadpole had two playdates scheduled Wednesday (we attended one, with friends C and c, and slept through the other one - trying to follow a one-year old who's walking around can be exhausting and require extra sleeping time on dad's shoulder!), and another today.  It's been fascinating for me to watch babies interact with each other.  They're really intrigued by the other baby, what the other baby can do, and what the other baby finds interesting.  (Although at times yesterday, Tadpole gave up on trying to keep up with c & just settled into some serious nomming of whatever toy c didn't try to take from her).  I'm going to be curious to see how today's visit with a younger baby in our apartment complex goes.  This one's on neutral ground in the lounge - dad needs to make sure to pack some blankets and toys as well as the diaper bag!
(And yes, play dates are also great for me - listening to NPR and babbling with Tadpole are insufficient reminders of my adulthood, so these help).

The really exciting news around here, though, is that Tadpole is crawling!  (And by "exciting", I mean that R and I turned to each other and almost in unison referred to it as "the beginning of the end" ... much babyproofing is needed in a short time!)

Tadpole's been army crawling for a little while now, dragging herself forward on her forearms, but especially on the carpeting in her room, the coefficient of friction is high enough that this is a pretty tedious process. (And yes, I do enjoy explaining the difficulty to her in physics terms).  Tuesday afternoon, I set my glasses down well out of reach, and was shocked to find Tadpole smoothly pivot (a skill she's had for a while), then bring her knees up in order to push herself forward.  By the time I go over my surprise, she was happily clutching and nomming on the glasses.

For the rest of the afternoon, I tried to induce her to crawl again.  The glasses & phone were great inducements.  All other toys were insufficient - she returned to her former method of reaching them, banging the ground in frustration and yelling at the toy to "Come Here Now!" in Tadpolese.

After a nap, however, things changed significantly.  I was worried about showing off Tadpole's new skill to R, and wanted to make sure that I had the proper inducements ready.  None were needed.  I set Tadpole down on the ground and reached for my phone to put it just out of reach, only to find that my daughter was halfway across the room moving steadily towards her shelf of toys.  Crawling skill: Mastered!

On the one hand, this means I have to be a bit more vigilant with Tadpole, but she's not really very fast yet.  Most importantly, though, she doesn't have to interact with the world through me, which is really great for both of us.  Tadpole's figured out that if there's a toy she wants, she can crawl over & get it ... there are times now when I try to interact with her & she ignores me in favor of the cool-toy-that-she-got-all-by-herself-because-she's-a-big-crawling-girl.  Ah well, I still get the naptime snuggles since someone wakes herself up after 40 minutes and can't get back to sleep by herself.  Maybe next we'll practice that skill ... I'm just not sure how to work in bribing her with the phone!

If be a Stay at Home Dad would ye, then you must learn these Lessons Three

Apologies for the mangling of Monty Python above.

Nevertheless after week 2 / day 1 with Tadpole, I did indeed come away with three important lessons for any stay at home dad.*
(* - may also apply to parents generally)

1 - The best-laid schemes o' mice an' men / Gang aft agley (Or - babies' schedules aren't exactly predictable)
I had a great plan for the day.  Tadpole and I were going to check out the Shedd Aquarium after the first nap.  A nice walk, lunch out (a big deal!), then we check out the creatures (including Jellyfish - about which more anon), before coming home.  This plan was predicated on Tadpole's general sleep schedule - go down between 9:30 - 10:00 for somewhere between 40 minutes and and hour and a half.  Of course, today she woke up after about 50 minutes with a scream.  I managed to calm her down, but in the process she fell asleep ... on my shoulder ... for another 2 hours.
The sleep was charming, of course, but when Tadpole woke up at 12:45, a few plans had to change.  No trip to the Shedd, but we did take a walk out to the local park and swing on the swings.

And so I learned lesson 2 - A baby's interest in a thing is inversely proportional to what you want it to be
I haven't spent as much time playing with Tadpole as I'd like - there's been a distinct lack of tummy-time, push-ups and other exercise.  So I figured that today, in addition to a walk and some swings, Tadpole and I would enjoy the beautiful warm autumn day by playing outside.  I brought along Tadpole's play blanket along with some of her favorite toys.
I'm sure you can guess how this went.  Tadpole had no interest in the Sophie giraffe, or in practicing her sitting.  Or really, anything other than grabbing for dirt, grass and dry leaves.  We'll be practicing our activity time inside from now on!

Finally lesson 3 - Pics or it didn't happen!
Tadpole and I went for a walk today.  We stopped and played on the swings for a while.  Tadpole got to watch another baby out with her mommy and look at the dogs.  And I didn't get pictures of any of it, which also means none for the blog.  I have an iPhone ... time to take pictures in these situations!

p.s. - Did I mention that later we came back from the doctor's office on the Red Line during rush hour?  Because we did.  And I'm feeling pretty good about that.  Way to be dad!